Megan Abbott is a former Tony Robbins Life Coach and the founder of Fruition Personal Coaching. She is a true expert when it comes to empowering others to live the life of their dreams. Megan worked under Tony Robbins for 3 years before starting up her own personal coaching practice.
Fruition Personal Coaching– Website
The format for this week’s “Women Crushin’ It” series will be a little different as there is no video. Megan was gracious enough to offer me about 40 minutes of her time to pick her brain, during which I furiously scribbled several pages of notes- the opportunity to crack into such a reservoir of knowledge does not come up frequently. What I’ll attempt to do today is offer her responses in the most condensed, value packed form that I possibly can. Please note that the following content is likely paraphrased and may not be a direct quote from Megan herself.
- What does the term “success” mean to you?
Megan dove right into this question, immediately stating that a large problem for the majority of us in that we typically have an idea of what being successful would entail, but when we finally get there, it’s neither fulfilling or as enjoyable as we thought it would be. Success is largely based on an individual’s values- money, freedom, family, etc.- but the key is discovering what success looks like for you and then determining a plan as to how you’re going to get it. She concluded with a very powerful statement:
“We chase society’s idea of success so that we can “be enough”- but it usually isn’t fulfilling enough.”
Do you feel like your definition of success lies within someone else’s standards?
Next, one must realize that the quality of their life is dependent on the emotions that they feel the most. Feelings are everything, because they decide what we want, why we want it, and usually, if we’re willing to go get it. Ultimately, we want to feel good.
“Our emotions are the greatest resource towards our success”
Lastly, Megan mentioned the power of questioning ourselves. When we ask our brain a question, it’s always going to give us an answer. As we’ve talked about, the quality of your questions often times determine the quality of your life.
Instead of asking yourself why you aren’t good enough, ask yourself how you’re going to get to where you want to be. HOW you ask yourself the question will determine WHAT type of response your brain gives you. Choose empowerment.
2. On to weight loss. Previously, I sat down with Megan in the fall of 2014 over coffee to discuss writing my first book. Just like this time, I accumulated a solid 1400 words of information on my laptop as she spit knowledge bombs in my general direction. I had a follow up question to ask her from the first time we met:
We typically use crux’s like overeating food to fill an emotional void being left by something else in our lives. So then, how do we assess and prevent this from happening?
“If food is filling a void, and we don’t know where that void is, we will always go right back to that habit during difficult times- that’s where the frustration comes from.”
If you find yourself overeating frequently, ask yourself:
“What does food really mean to me?”
Food is a form of stimulation that we derive pleasure from. If our lives are void of healthy stimulation, we can (and often do) choose to fill that void with food. Megan went onto suggest that changing our patterns- becoming more social, for example- is a good way to start filling that void up. The problem, or the “catch 22” here is that often times people who are overweight don’t feel confident enough about themselves to be regularly going out, trying new things, etc.
This is how we fall into a cycle of non-action, which only changes once we decide that our circumstances are so unbearable that we now must take action.
“What we believe about ourselves will ultimately determine our outcome.”
3. What differences exist between someone who is off taking massive action and someone who struggles to find success in the areas they are trying to find success in?
Megan recommended something here that I had not previously heard about. We began by discussing the “one foot in the door” mentality that some of us take- you know, I’ll dip my toes in the water but I’m not ready to get in yet. When we find oruselves here, we often stay stuck for years.
Megan made it simple. To reach your goals, they must become a “must.” You must burn the bridges behind you and leverage success against the worst versions of yourself in order to make it into something that you will obtain. When we leave the door open just a crack, we always go right back in. Set yourself up so that there is no choice other than to work towards your goals- then you won’t have any tough decisions to make. 🙂
The next part was unfamiliar to me, and so, I am excited to share it here. She recommended the DISC Personal Strengths profile as a way of finding out how you best respond to these type of situations. For example, I am the kind of person who would rather “fix the plane in mid-air”- I dive right in to new things, and prefer to fix them along the way. My motivation comes from starting. Others may find that this doesn’t work for them, and as a coach, it’s my job to address this.
What if your motivation comes from you planning out every last detail to a T? If you’re clear on everything forthcoming, it might get you to start. Hey, that’s not how I roll, but it might be how you roll. The DISC Personality test may help you discover things you didn’t know.
*Disclaimer- I am in no way affiliated with Tony Robbins. You have to enter your email to get it, but it’s a free assessment.
4. The last question that I asked Megan was also a “part 2” of sorts from our first meeting. She shared a slice of wisdom with me when she said that goal achievement “is not a jump, but a staircase.” I asked her to dive into this a little bit more.
People, you don’t have to see the whole staircase in order to take the next step. The staircase, a metaphor for the entire journey one goes through to obtain their desires, is long. You may only be on the first step of 11 or 12 steps, but that’s okay. The important thing is being willing enough to focus on the next step, and not worry about the top of the stairs. The moment you begin thinking about the entire staircase, overwhelm starts to set in. Is this familiar to you? If you have 100lbs to lose, a book to write, or a college degree to obtain, it won’t happen in a day.
Know what you need to do next. Focus on what’s next, and you’ll get there. The stairs will be waiting for you as you go.
I think it’s also poignant to mention the use of a metaphor such as a “leap of faith”. Doesn’t a staircase seem a bit more attainable? What comes to mind when you think of taking a “leap” towards anything? Blind, not calculated, aggressive? What do you think a metaphor like that is doing in your mind? A leap of faith takes a lot more mental energy to dive into than any type of staircase ever will.
And to use one of Megan’s analogies, think about the greyhound races where the dogs chase the rabbit. Would those greyhounds be motivated to chase the rabbit if it were on the other side of the track, or are they motivated because it’s right in front of their face?
Just take the next step. You’ll get to the top of the staircase, I promise.
Yours In Interviewing,
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